A slight novel, The Vegetarian describes a woman’s descent into “madness” from the perspective of her husband, brother-in-law, and sister. The woman’s decline starts with he…
Last night we took Walnut and Angus to one of their favourite beaches. There, they had a wonderful romp on the beach as they normally do. On the way back to the car though, they met up with a particularly rambunctious and playful golden retriever puppy who couldn’t have been much older than one year old. The retriever initially took after Walnut, who thought it was all quite fun and treated it as a game of chase…which it was. But then the retriever chased after Angus.
The thing is…Angus doesn’t play chase. When dogs run after Angus, he plants his feet firmly on the ground, like some sort of unyielding linebacker, and gets ready to take the hit. For the most part, the charging dogs don’t know how to deal with this abhorrent behaviour, and they swerve at the last second; sometimes tumbling over themselves. I can only assume that their doggy brains are like:
What the heck dude? You’re suppose to run!
Well, the puppy we encountered last night didn’t swerve, and as you might expect when mass and speed are involved, Angus took a tumble! Now, how can I put what happened next into words… Angus Freaked! If Angus could actually speak, I’m pretty sure there would have been a stream of corrosive expletives that could melt steel! Picture Donald Duck…only working blue! So he’s snarling like a rabbid wolverine, snapping and jumping at the retriever, who at this point was running away from Angus, and was probably like:
What? What the hell did I do?
Luckily, the puppy ran away, and we thought that was that. But then, the puppy, who we can only assume either had brain damage before Angus’ first encounter, or received it afterwards; but in any event, the puppy took a running start and bowled Angus over!
You know how, in cartoons, to signify a character’s extreme agitation, they will show the character literally flip their lid? You know, part of their skull cap comes off, does a flip and then lands back atop their head? Well that pretty much summed up Angus’ attitude! He took after this puppy and chased him down the beach. There was no way he would be able to catch him, and in a couple of cases the puppy came back and ran around Angus, probably just for the LOLs, but Angus continued chasing him for a couple minutes. And here’s the thing: Angus doesn’t run! If you’ve managed to make Angus run, then you’ve either offered him a treat, or he’s coming after you like the white rabbit from Monty Python’s The Holy Grail.
Anyway, when we finally managed to ditch the puppy, you could see Angus’ day was ruined. Every few steps back to the car, you would see Angus peering back looking for the little bugger that dared to challenge him.
In short, you do not mess with Angus!